hmmm...

Not gonna lie, this blog is deep like a well, so just keep scrolling down :)

Thanks to my rad hubby I can officially say I am a stay-at-home mom (I've been an art teacher for 8 years, but made the leap to s-a-h-m) and I can't tell you how exciting that is to me...but I guess I'm sort of going to try. Through this blog.

I'm probably too sarcastic, too sensitive, too untidy, too honest, and I tend to tell people more than they care to know---conciseness is perhaps not my strong suit. The fact that I now have two blogs might also mean I'm a bit too narcissistic.

And in case you were wondering, my name is Brooke.

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Monday, July 26, 2010

Anxiety

I recently read a book entitled 'Calm My Anxious Heart' by Linda Dillow. I read through it slowly at times and at other times I read and re-read sections rather quickly. I began to recognize how often I depend on my own freakish ability to WORRY about things---things that have happened, things that are happening, things that could happen, and things that would never happen in a million years---and it was eye-opening. It was one of those books that causes you to put your money where you mouth is in regards to faith you claim to have. The faith I claim to have. The faith I do have. Because if I really have faith and trust in a loving God I can't also have faith in my own anxiety. So often I think that my worrying over something is responsible--- is preparing me for anything, is gaining me control. Ahh, control. So which do I want more of: (the illusion of) control, or the guidance of a loving God? Crap. That's like asking me which do you want more of: luscious chocolate cake or a nutrient packed, well-rounded meal filled with whole grains and vegetables? Well...I want to live well, live longer, have energy and health...but chocolate is sort of my drug of choice.

Honestly, I did actually just have some chocolate cake a few minutes ago, but more importantly I am aware of choosing trust over (the illusion of) control moreso than I have been in years. And guess what? It's not painful, it feels very freeing.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. CAST ALL YOUR ANXIETY ON HIM BECAUSE HE CARES FOR YOU. 1 peter 5: 6-7

How many of you parents would prefer it if your children worried that you weren't going to take care of them? If they worried you weren't going to feed them, clothe them, allow them to enjoy life, that you were going to forget about them...How often do we worry about those types of things? How often do we not trust that our Father in heaven cares for us?



1 comment:

  1. seriously blog-stalking you now.

    LOOOOOOOVE how your mind works!

    sometimes i feel like the only person who struggles with this crap.

    maybe because there are very few who actually talk about it?

    ReplyDelete